With you, I think I was the closest to ever feeling that “I’m safe” feeling in a relationship. As hard as the first months were, the months after it, made it all worth it. All the tears, the pain, the jealousy, the worrying, all was down the drain when I finally kissed you when I made it to VA. That week for me showed me all I wanted in a relationship. I wanted to make food, watch movies, pass out of the couch, the simple shit. Waiting for you to get off work, and driving around with your friends. I don’t think I can ever forget how it felt to wake up and you were by my side. The way I could feel your heart beat when I rested my head on your chest. Nothing was better than turning over at night and glancing at you as you slept. Everything about that week was perfect. I remember getting on the bus back toward NYC and just crying and crying. I never wanted to leave. As great as I felt with you, I sort of knew it wasn’t going to be able to work anytime soon, or ever. I want to try again, I do, but I am not sure if thats what I should be doing. Maybe this all blew up for a reason. Maybe I need to look at other options. I don’t know, I just can’t say I know I am emotionally strong enough for another let down with you.
You were the closest to heaven I’ll ever be.